Hans von Hozel, more like greatest writer ever.: Axis Powers Hetalia
The Englands were making a sulk on top of the sea.
“It is not goodly that America are NO UNDER ARE CONTROL ANY MORE!” shout The Englands, and they make a sulk and float away from Europes.
America was making laughs in the corner with Canada.
“YOU ARE TELL HILARIOUS JOKE AMERICA.” say Canada, as…
im not friends i have a racist
If you don’t get this reference, you’re too young for tumblr.
are you fucking kidding me pixar puts out a movie ever year a baby would get this reference
it’s not pixar it’s a reference to that time in 1994 when lamps became sentient humanoids
many were lost that day
It was a grim day for mankind. My parents took refuge in a cave and thus saved us from certain death; we lived close to a lamp factory at the time and the surrounding region was utterly devastated in the conflict.
My brother fought one off using only an egg whisk and a pogo stick.
Only 90s kids remember the Lampocalypse
My father still has the scars from where one stole his kidney
Ironically, it was a dark time.
(Source: brennablueskies, via theuniversewithoutstrangers)
Hans von Hozel, more like greatest writer ever.: The Bible (According to Hans von Hozel), Chapter 1
Making the World
One day God making of the world.
“Oh no” say Jesus, “The world is to smal”
Suddenly, world on fire! The world burning to the ground.
“All my worlds make a breakage!” said God, “I need someone who can creation of a world!”
Then, God pick up a rock and zap Adam and Eve on it.
“Hello I am much of Godly!” say the god.
THE BEST PART ABOUT WII FIT GIRL BEING IN THE NE WSMASH BROS IS THAT PEOPLE ARE GOING TO SHIP HER WITH OTHER CHARACTERS
PEOPLE WILL WRITE EROTIC FANFICTION ABOUT THE WII FIT TRAINER
TRULY THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO BE ALIVE
“Ah. Link. What are we going to do on the bed.” said Wii Fit Trainer with her forever-deadpan voice.
“HYAAA HYEEH YAAAAAH” Link replied enthusiastically.